Show vs. Tell

We touched on “Show vs. Tell” a little bit in the section on writing descriptions; however, it is such an important component of writing fiction that it is appropriate to create a separate page just on the topic.

So, what is Show vs. Tell?

It is a concept that is hard to define. You don’t even know how to do it until something clicks and your writing starts flowing in a different style; it just takes practice. But I will attempt right here to give a helping hand. When I was first starting, I would squint at the page and say, “Show versus tell… how do I even know if I’m doing it?”

I would suggest taking our photo prompt and practicing describing the prompt.

The Definition

Show vs. Tell is when you use details, dialogue, actions, interactions, and the senses to illustrate your story. You do not lead the reader to conclusions; the reader has to interpret the scene and understand what is going on.

Now, you can “tell” when things are simple or perhaps even tedious, but it’s best to write obliquely when you are setting the stage. Giving hints of ideas makes a stronger story with deeper connections.

The Example

The best way to understand this is to see it in action.

The “Tell” Version:

He could feel his blood pressure going up; it always went up when he was disturbed. He was getting angry at the whole situation.

The “Show” Version:

He could feel his ears throbbing—a hot, angry beat, keeping time with his racing heart. Dangerous. He knew the signs.

In a single sentence, we can combine sensory details, physical details, and an indication of who the individual is. But “showing” really shines when we let it build into the plot, add an antagonist, and hint at the conflict:

He could feel his ears throbbing—a hot, angry beat, keeping time with his racing heart. Dangerous. It made his pressure go up.

“What do you mean? I turned in that form weeks ago, just like you told me to.”

The librarian turned. Her hair was a cool blue, her eyes that particular shade of purple that young demons were wearing for the season. A slight scent of disturbed sulfur filled the air as she tapped her chitinous tail on the tile floor.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to keep your voice down. Other beings are trying to work here.”

Practical Ways to Establish “Show vs Tell”

Setting the Stage The setting is the way to give a stage to your characters. It is the backdrop, for the most part. Keep it there and pull it out as needed to advance the plot, create action, or explain your characters. Just give hints so the reader can place themselves in the room.

Descriptive Action Action isn’t just movement; it’s reaction. Watch how we expand the scene with George to show the stakes:

Up and down the aisles, Greater Demons looked up with a scowl. Some growled under their breath.

George swallowed his next protest. Dangerous. It was dangerous to disturb Greater Demons in their studies.

He turned to the librarian with a shudder. “Can’t you make an exception this time? I’ve been waiting so long.”

A dismissive sniff told him all he needed to know.

The “Adverb Trap”

Stephen King gave some excellent advice in his book “On Writing”; he tells writers to strictly avoid adverbs. Many other writers agree, I can see it because it makes things of second-hand knowledge and takes the place of what the reader should be thinking about.

The Enemy of Showing: Adverbs If you are struggling to “show,” look at your adverbs (words ending in -ly). Adverbs are often shortcuts that rob the reader of the experience.

• Tell: He closed the door loudly
• Show: He slammed the door, rattling the flimsy frame.
• Tell: She whispered fearfully.
• Show: Her voice trembled, barely audible over the hum of the air conditioner, her eyes darted to the door, looking up each time it opened

One final note: You do not have to “show” everything. If you did, your book would be thousands of pages long. Sometimes, a character just needs to open a door. You don’t need to describe the cold brass against their palm or the squeak of the hinge unless it matters to the plot. Our poor soul in the library could turn quickly and leave the room, probably wise too.

Frequently Asked Questions