Writing Dialogue: The Skeleton of Conversation

Writing dialogue is difficult because it involves condensing action, character, plot, and voice into the two dimensions of the page. You are trying to build a 3-D moving model inside the reader’s head using flat text.

Reading to yourself, it is hard to judge whether your dialogue is smooth and realistic or clunky and wobbling. Reading it out loud helps, but even then, it can feel awkward.

So, how do you accomplish this task? For me, it involves keeping a light touch and avoiding heavy-handed explanations. Dialogue should exist with an almost Zen-like sense of sparsity. It is possible to put dialogue in traditional poetry and spoken word poetry.

Think of it as the skeleton of a conversation. It is not a transcript of real life (which is full of “ums” and “uhs”); it is a storytelling tool. Every exchange should do three things:

1. Show the character.
2. Hint at the setting.
3. Further the plot.

The Evolution of a Scene

Let’s look at how to write a simple scene (a husband leaving for work) and see how how we write it changes the feeling entirely.

1. The Bare Bones (Acceptable but Boring)

This version is functional. It establishes that one is going to work and one did the groceries. It uses “said” sparingly.

“Do you need anything from the store?”

“No, not today,” she looked up. “I went grocery shopping yesterday.”

“Well, if you think of anything, let me know. I’m going to go after I get off work.”

“All right, thanks then.”

Verdict: It works, but it is dry. It conveys information, but no emotion.

2. The “Tag” Overload (Clunky)

Here, we break the rules. We use too many synonyms for “said” (asked, replied, told, said back). This drags the conversation down and feels amateurish.

He asked her, “Do you need anything from the store?”

She replied, “No, I went yesterday.”

He told her back, “Well, if you think of anything, let me know. I’m going to go after I get off work.” “

All right, thanks anyway,” she said back.

Verdict: Avoid this. The reader focuses on the tags, not the words.

3. The Adverb Disaster (Melodramatic)

Now, let’s try to force emotion into the scene by using adverbs. This is the hallmark of bad writing.

He growled at her, “Do you need anything at the store?”

“No,” she sniffed in disdain. “I went grocery shopping yesterday.”

He looked at her angrily. “Well, if you could think of anything, let me know. I’m going to go after I get off work.”

She looked at him in disbelief. “Fine. But thanks anyways.”

Verdict: This feels like a soap opera. The emotions are “told” to the reader rather than shown.

4. The Professional Version (Action Beats)

If I were writing this for a story, I would keep adverbs to almost zero and “said” to almost zero. Instead, use physical movements that ground the scene in reality.

He stopped, his hand on the doorknob.

“Do you need anything from the store?”

She looked up from her textbook, all cozy-like on the sofa. “No, I went yesterday.”

“Okay.” He shrugged on his jacket, thrusting his hands deep into his pockets, hoping he was going to find his lost car keys. “If you think of anything, let me know. I’ll be going after work.”

“Oh, thanks, honey,” she said. “that’s so sweet of you.”

• The Character: We know he is disorganized (looking for keys), but thoughtful. We know she is studying and comfortable (“cozy-like”).
• The Plot: He is leaving.
• The Visuals: We see the jacket, the textbook, and the hand on the knob. We have built that 3-D model in the reader’s head without using a single adverb.