Writing Dialogue in Fiction
Writing dialogue is difficult because it involves condensing action, character, plot, and voice into the two dimensions of the page. You are trying to build a 3-D moving model inside the reader’s head using flat text.
After trying to convey the event, setting, and character, it is hard to judge whether your dialogue is smooth and realistic or clunky and wobbling. Juggling a myriad of details means that each part has to fit within an economy of words. For this use, dialogue is powerful; dialogue can convey details efficiently versus needing many words to perform the same task.
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How to think about writing dialogue
So, how do you accomplish this task? Carefully, delicately. It involves keeping a light touch and avoiding heavy-handed explanations. Dialogue should exist with an almost Zen-like sense of sparsity. It is also possible to put dialogue in traditional poetry and spoken word poetry. In these cases, the dialogue illustrates the concepts and adds movement and emphasis.
Think of it as the skeleton of a conversation. It is not a transcript of real life (which is full of “ums” and “uhs”); it is a storytelling tool. Every exchange should do three things:
- Show the character.
- Hint at the setting.
- Further the plot.
The evolution of a scene
Let’s look at how to write a simple scene (a husband leaving for work) and see how how we write it changes the feeling.
The bare bones (acceptable but boring)
This version is functional. It establishes that he is going to work and she did the groceries. It uses “said” sparingly.
“Do you need anything from the store?”
She said, “No, not today. I went grocery shopping yesterday.”
“Well, if you think of anything, let me know. I’m going to go after I get off work.”
“All right, thanks then.”
Verdict: It works, but it is dry. It conveys information, but no emotion. It leaves out information that can only be understood after reading the whole interaction.
The “tag” overload (clunky)
Here, we break the rules. We use too many synonyms for “said” (asked, replied, told, said back). This drags the conversation down and feels amateurish.
He asked her, “Do you need anything from the store?”
She replied, “No, I went yesterday.”
He told her back, “Well, if you think of anything, let me know. I’m going to go after I get off work.”
“All right, thanks anyway,” she said back.
Verdict: Avoid this. The reader focuses on the tags, not the words.
The adverb disaster (melodramatic)
Now, let’s try to force emotion into the scene by using adverbs.
He growled angrily at her. “Do you want anything from the store?”
“No,” she sniffed disdainfully. “I went grocery shopping yesterday.”
He looked at her sneeringly. “Well, if you think of anything, let me know. I’m going to go after I get off work.”
“Fine,” she spit out quickly. “Thanks anyways.”
Verdict: This feels like a soap opera. The emotions are “told” to the reader rather than shown.
The professional version (action beats)
In this exchange, adverb use is contained and the use of “said” is minimized; instead, physical movements ground the scene in reality,
He stopped, his hand on the doorknob.
“Do you need anything from the store?”
She looked up from her textbook, all cozy-like on the sofa. “No, I went yesterday.”
“Okay.” He shrugged on his jacket, thrusting his hands deep into his pockets, hoping he was going to find his lost car keys. “If you think of anything, let me know. I’ll be going after work.”
“Oh, thanks, honey,” she said. “That’s so sweet of you.”
- The Character: We know he is disorganized (looking for keys), but thoughtful. We know she is studying and comfortable (“cozy-like”).
- The Plot: He is leaving.
- The Visuals: We see the jacket, the textbook, and the hand on the knob. We have built that 3-D model in the reader’s head without using a single adverb.